It’s my emotional support baguette.

I try to keep this ish to a minimum. But it leaks out sometimes. He knows who he married.

I fall over. Easily. And often. Sometimes for no reason. A bendy bit just gets too bendy.

Mix it up a little. Please.

Books are not to be feared. I am though.

Nope. You’re describing permissive parenting and that’s not what I do. Care to read a book?

I mean… I got better.

Only from one side of the family tree though. The other half is cheering me on.

I find myself needing to get into that cash reserve more often than I thought.

The scale went up and it is STILL a non-scale victory.

Minimum effort - maximum results. Easy recipes for moms who are out of effs. You’re welcome.

I post this so no one has a false ideas of what my life is.

Someone explain the 90s obsession with green beans. Specifically.

We all belong to one of these. Which one are you? I’m the 3rd one.

Drink. Water. Like 5/100 times, that’s the whole problem. You’re dehydrated.

Read the short story now! 🔗 on my page!

It doesn’t take much to get them amped, honestly.

Turned 40. Became a best selling author. I’m proud of me.

Happy holidays to you and yours from me and mine.

When your parents remind you that parenting is a lifetime gig. Even when the kids are parents now.

Know your breed. That’s all I’m saying.

This is the niches thing I have ever posted. IC to literally everyone who made this JBR guitar joke

Our standards of “clean” differ in some important ways apparently.

When you don’t want to be ungrateful but aren’t sure what to do with 37 candy cane tubes.

Apples. Trees. Pots. Kettles. Toast.

If ordering meds was like ordering pizza, half my kids’ illnesses would be much easier to handle.

I was going to deadpan this like I do the rest. But I couldn’t. It was too fun. Highly recommend.

I’ll open the toy first so you can decide if you can tolerate it.

Toy reviews so you know if what your kid wants for Christmas is going to be annoying.

Between this and the antique spices and 20th century canned goods, how are we alive?

Nothing says Happy Holidays like the primal scream of a pink rubber chicken.

Just a little house hopping rant.

Ma’am. We’ve got bigger fish to fry.

That time I tried to prank Childproof listeners and got my husband instead. (Listen on Spotify)

What’s with all the dramatics, Subby?

Children learn by example. Advocate for yourself so they learn how to advocate for themselves later

I’ll not stand in the way of sibling unification.

Twix. Explain yourself.

Teens are weird. Raising them is weird too.

Use q-tips and cotton swabs responsibly.

A PSA for folks who have too many totes of “keepers”.

I know I’m wrong. But I refuse to acknowledge that.

The smallest things WILL break me for now.

I’m a cute tree, dang it.

The more you know 💫 🌈

Church lady punch is comfort food. Check my IG for more recipes.

Find the lie. (Spoiler: you can’t)

I did this to myself. #mommacusses