Here’s ⬇️ how my focus changed:
I had posted a video about red flags 🚩 that I sadly ignored while dating someone who I feel is high on the covert narcissist scale.
He wanted to make plans with me but I had plans with my best friend - so I told him that I couldn’t that day but we could get together the next. It was a simple, absolutely NORMAL boundary. I said no…
And even though he tried to guilt trip me and I could tell he wasn’t happy with me- I upheld the boundary
I had to pick something up from his apartment - I rang the bell (he told me when to pick it up) well - I rang that bell and was waiting for just over half an hour. He was flat out refusing to come down - we didn’t have cell phones at that time (yes I’m old 😂)
Now because I didn’t understand narcissism
In my head - I was like - he must be so sad that we can’t hang out…. What I didn’t realize was he was showing me EXACTLY how he handles his disappointment - with silent treatments and emotional punishing.
I pointed all of this out in my video and one comment really caught my attention. ‘Yes he was wrong in his behavior, but why did you stay for so long ringing the bell when you knew he was intentionally ignoring you’
At that moment I realized there are two parts to healing from emotional! Narcissistic abuse. The first part - understand THEM and what they do to cause so much emotional dysregulation in YOU!
The second part - uncovering what was going on inside of ME that allowed me to ignore red flags, give and give more when less and less was given, to strive harder to please an intentionally unappeasable person …. Yes, this was the Cptsd Recovery part that I had not been ready to dive into before - but now knew that it was the missing piece!!
I was thinking about this because today in our live zoom meeting in the School Of Transformation we are discussing BOUNDARIES!!
If this resonates and you’re ready to do the deep inner Cptsd Recovery Work - come check out our live meetings - we’re we DO the inner work TOGETHER! Here’s the link to learn more about our live zoom Mtgs - www.micheleleenieves.com/school-of-transformation
Michele Lee Nieves Coaching
Here’s ⬇️ how my focus changed:
I had posted a video about red flags 🚩 that I sadly ignored while dating someone who I feel is high on the covert narcissist scale.
He wanted to make plans with me but I had plans with my best friend - so I told him that I couldn’t that day but we could get together the next. It was a simple, absolutely NORMAL boundary. I said no…
And even though he tried to guilt trip me and I could tell he wasn’t happy with me- I upheld the boundary
I had to pick something up from his apartment - I rang the bell (he told me when to pick it up) well - I rang that bell and was waiting for just over half an hour. He was flat out refusing to come down - we didn’t have cell phones at that time (yes I’m old 😂)
Now because I didn’t understand narcissism
In my head - I was like - he must be so sad that we can’t hang out…. What I didn’t realize was he was showing me EXACTLY how he handles his disappointment - with silent treatments and emotional punishing.
I pointed all of this out in my video and one comment really caught my attention. ‘Yes he was wrong in his behavior, but why did you stay for so long ringing the bell when you knew he was intentionally ignoring you’
At that moment I realized there are two parts to healing from emotional! Narcissistic abuse. The first part - understand THEM and what they do to cause so much emotional dysregulation in YOU!
The second part - uncovering what was going on inside of ME that allowed me to ignore red flags, give and give more when less and less was given, to strive harder to please an intentionally unappeasable person …. Yes, this was the Cptsd Recovery part that I had not been ready to dive into before - but now knew that it was the missing piece!!
I was thinking about this because today in our live zoom meeting in the School Of Transformation we are discussing BOUNDARIES!!
If this resonates and you’re ready to do the deep inner Cptsd Recovery Work - come check out our live meetings - we’re we DO the inner work TOGETHER! Here’s the link to learn more about our live zoom Mtgs - www.micheleleenieves.com/school-of-transformation
#narcissisticabuse #emotionalmanipulation #redflags #cptsdsurvivor #cptsdrecovery #emotionalhealing #silenttreatment
8 months ago | [YT] | 285