The Gospel According to VYB: Chapter 25, Verse $442,860
"And lo, Megan and Ragan did descend upon Zoom, bearing tidings of The VYB, a revolutionary creation destined to bring fulfillment (and $442,860 monthly blessings) to all who pledge their $25 faith offering. Forget loaves and fishes—this miraculous vibe multiplies commissions instead!
But behold, brethren, this is no ordinary vibe. Nay, it is said to deliver divine financial satisfaction so potent that even the faithful among us might need to repent for the sheer joy of it. As Proverbs 31:10 might say (if it were rewritten for MLMs): ‘Who can find a virtuous downline? For their commissions are far above rubies.’
Yet, let us ponder the true spiritual nature of this holy VYB. Is it not written in Matthew 7:15, ‘Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves?’ But who needs sheep’s clothing when you have affiliate links and a pitch deck?
So here’s the real miracle: this vibe doesn’t just bring joy—it brings urgency, FOMO, and enough Zoom drama to part seas and wallets alike. And if your faith wavers, fear not! Megan and Ragan shall deliver gaslighting unto thee, for they know not the meaning of a straight answer.
To all those investing in this divine vibe, may your blessings be multiplied—right up until the pyramid crumbles and you find yourself asking, ‘Where did my $25 go?’ Spoiler: it’s probably chilling in someone else’s promised land (or luxury handbag).
THE CRYPTO PONZI SCHEME AVENGER
The Gospel According to VYB: Chapter 25, Verse $442,860
"And lo, Megan and Ragan did descend upon Zoom, bearing tidings of The VYB, a revolutionary creation destined to bring fulfillment (and $442,860 monthly blessings) to all who pledge their $25 faith offering. Forget loaves and fishes—this miraculous vibe multiplies commissions instead!
But behold, brethren, this is no ordinary vibe. Nay, it is said to deliver divine financial satisfaction so potent that even the faithful among us might need to repent for the sheer joy of it. As Proverbs 31:10 might say (if it were rewritten for MLMs): ‘Who can find a virtuous downline? For their commissions are far above rubies.’
Yet, let us ponder the true spiritual nature of this holy VYB. Is it not written in Matthew 7:15, ‘Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves?’ But who needs sheep’s clothing when you have affiliate links and a pitch deck?
So here’s the real miracle: this vibe doesn’t just bring joy—it brings urgency, FOMO, and enough Zoom drama to part seas and wallets alike. And if your faith wavers, fear not! Megan and Ragan shall deliver gaslighting unto thee, for they know not the meaning of a straight answer.
To all those investing in this divine vibe, may your blessings be multiplied—right up until the pyramid crumbles and you find yourself asking, ‘Where did my $25 go?’ Spoiler: it’s probably chilling in someone else’s promised land (or luxury handbag).
Can I get an Amen... or a refund?"
2 weeks ago | [YT] | 5