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Expert Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters
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Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday
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Black Part Of Town Moves Across Town
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Situation In Nigeria Seems Pretty Complex
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How To Channel Your Road Rage Into Cold, Calculating Road Revenge
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Parenting Expert Has Nerve To Tell You How To Raise Your Own Goddamn Kids
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Back Of Library Smells Like Weed
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Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five"
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Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
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Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
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Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys
New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay To Smoke'
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Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized
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Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere
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Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee
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Is Our Wealth Hurting Africa's Feelings?