This love letter is for you if you're feeling disliked, left out, or misunderstood. It's you, isn't it? I know. It's been me too.
For most of my life, both child and adult, I wanted everyone to like me. Actually, I wanted everyone to freaking LOVE me. It was so important for me that you thought that I was ok, doing a good job, successful, funny, normal (LOLLLL), whatever. I just wanted to be your friend.
Ahhh, yes. Life spent living from the outside in. Life spent living with 7 billion attachments to 7 billion people outside of myself, so if someone didn't like me, then I didn't like me. It was a push/pull of anguish and exhilaration. Meeting new people? I'd show 'em the old razzle dazzle. Boss mad at me? Kill me now. Earth, swallow me up. Pretend I was never even born.
If this isn't a version of living hell, then I don't know what is.
Can anyone relate?
Here is something that happened for me. The past few years put me through a series of wonderful, soul-sculpting tests where I had to come up against my codependent insecurities about not being accepted and loved by all. I was asked to show up more and then when I did, I was told to tone it down. Trying to be accepted felt like I was being thrown into a game of chess.
I do not know how to play chess.
I am SO happy and grateful these experiences happened. They taught me the following:
1. Not everyone is going to like you. There are people who will be committed to disliking you, no matter what you do or who you are. THOSE ARE NOT YOUR PEOPLE.
2. They are, however, your greatest teachers. Can you hold neutrality in the face of discomfort? Can you love from afar? Can you find the beauty in others even if they can't or won't find it in you?
3. Everything that happens is a result of a story you are telling yourself. You have no idea what is going on with others, why they are where they are. The only solution is to work on compassion without conditions, but boundaries for your own self-respect.
4. You don't have to sit at tables where people talk about you when you get up. Just stop going.
5. Seriously. You don't have to go.
6. Do not stop shining, honey. I can tell you this- true friends cheer like mad when you win. It hurts like hell, but don't expect everyone to cheer for you when you win, even the people you thought would. Remember- everything is a reflection of where one is at. For some, your success will be too painful for them, and that is their truth. Do not make it yours.
7. Leaders have to be ok with not being loved by all. Leaders have to make difficult decisions and stand strong.
8. Your network is your net worth- emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, mentally. Surround yourself with people looking to serve, uplift, grow and lead with love. What's wrong is ALWAYS available. So is what's right. Find those people.
9. Don't let the hardness of the world make you hard. Stay soft.
10. Forgiveness is a gift you give YOURSELF. Cut the damn cords already- let the person who is living in your head free. For every negative thought you have about them, you are squandering moments you could be having of joy. Find help if you need to. I recommend ho'oponopono, it's changed my life.
Divine Spark Creations
This love letter is for you if you're feeling disliked, left out, or misunderstood. It's you, isn't it? I know. It's been me too.
For most of my life, both child and adult, I wanted everyone to like me. Actually, I wanted everyone to freaking LOVE me. It was so important for me that you thought that I was ok, doing a good job, successful, funny, normal (LOLLLL), whatever. I just wanted to be your friend.
Ahhh, yes. Life spent living from the outside in. Life spent living with 7 billion attachments to 7 billion people outside of myself, so if someone didn't like me, then I didn't like me. It was a push/pull of anguish and exhilaration. Meeting new people? I'd show 'em the old razzle dazzle. Boss mad at me? Kill me now. Earth, swallow me up. Pretend I was never even born.
If this isn't a version of living hell, then I don't know what is.
Can anyone relate?
Here is something that happened for me. The past few years put me through a series of wonderful, soul-sculpting tests where I had to come up against my codependent insecurities about not being accepted and loved by all. I was asked to show up more and then when I did, I was told to tone it down. Trying to be accepted felt like I was being thrown into a game of chess.
I do not know how to play chess.
I am SO happy and grateful these experiences happened. They taught me the following:
1. Not everyone is going to like you. There are people who will be committed to disliking you, no matter what you do or who you are. THOSE ARE NOT YOUR PEOPLE.
2. They are, however, your greatest teachers. Can you hold neutrality in the face of discomfort? Can you love from afar? Can you find the beauty in others even if they can't or won't find it in you?
3. Everything that happens is a result of a story you are telling yourself. You have no idea what is going on with others, why they are where they are. The only solution is to work on compassion without conditions, but boundaries for your own self-respect.
4. You don't have to sit at tables where people talk about you when you get up. Just stop going.
5. Seriously. You don't have to go.
6. Do not stop shining, honey. I can tell you this- true friends cheer like mad when you win. It hurts like hell, but don't expect everyone to cheer for you when you win, even the people you thought would. Remember- everything is a reflection of where one is at. For some, your success will be too painful for them, and that is their truth. Do not make it yours.
7. Leaders have to be ok with not being loved by all. Leaders have to make difficult decisions and stand strong.
8. Your network is your net worth- emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, mentally. Surround yourself with people looking to serve, uplift, grow and lead with love. What's wrong is ALWAYS available. So is what's right. Find those people.
9. Don't let the hardness of the world make you hard. Stay soft.
10. Forgiveness is a gift you give YOURSELF. Cut the damn cords already- let the person who is living in your head free. For every negative thought you have about them, you are squandering moments you could be having of joy. Find help if you need to. I recommend ho'oponopono, it's changed my life.
3 months ago | [YT] | 2